Oliver Hogg's Cabris Tour Reminiscences
Editor's Disclaimer: These are Ollie's personal recollections and views, not those of the Club - any complaints, corrections, or abuse should be addressed to him !!
Barnes Occasionals 2001 season came to a satisfying conclusion, amongst aching limbs, tweaked and stretched muscles, cotton wool heads, red eyes, pastis, champagne, conkers, armagnac and armagnac.
Following a wonderful record breaking run of eight consecutive victories on home soil, and the addition of a professional extra batsman for the final weekend adventure, some players nurtured high hopes of a long awaited victory. They weren’t to be disappointed as they brought home the trophy with a well deserved seven wicket win with almost seven overs to spare.
And so at last to Cabris, in southern France, where Barnes Occasionals once again took up the challenge from two similar elevens in two days from a large-ish club of ex-pats.
The weather forecast had been for showers on both days, and on the Saturday the clouds did not disappoint.
Oliver Hogg agreed with Jim Longley that Cabris would bat first in a match of twenty overs…an idea not to his taste…local knowledge, however, suggested that there would be heavy rain later and to start a forty over match would be a waste of a chance. There was also an offer of a two innings match, starting with fifteen overs for the first innings, and then take a look at the weather….
Hogg chose the twenty over option as the least bad of the possible ideas, though sadly with hind-sight forty overs would have been possible, had Cabris arrived on time.
Many match plans had to be abandoned. Seed had arrived too late to open the bowling - he would also have opened the batting - in the original plan. But Lilliman did come on first change and bowled a splendid two over spell (0-5), that gave him confidence for the morrow and resulted in the only wicket of the innings.
A stupid mix up between the openers allowed Hogg to fumble and re-gather at short cover and relay the ball to Lilliman, who whipped the bails off. Cabris were 27 -1, with Dakin out for eleven.
Now Jim Longley from Sydney came to the middle where he proceeded to flail the Barnes attack to all parts as he scored eighty not out from 49 balls. The more orthodox Johnson went to 45 from 44 balls, but both were entirely untroubled by Hogg, Saperia, Krevs, Lichfield, Pettitt, Mundy and Seed.
At twenty overs Cabris were 144-1. The writing was on the wall.
Sad though, because after nine overs Barnes were creaming it at 64 for one (Cabris had been 38-1) Price and Krevs both going well. After twelve overs Barnes were on top at 85 for three (Cabris had been 66-1) and Price (32) and Krevs (27) were both out.
And that was it…each of the next four overs another wicket went down as Saperia (14) Mundy (1) Seed (2) and Lilliman (0) disappeared for the addition of seven runs. Seed against captains instructions (there’s a surprise) going for a huge straight drive off his third ball to be caught and bowled by the rangy Graham Kelsey (3-14.) Lichfield (0) perished another over later off the bowling of Peter Williams (3-4) and Hogg provided a tiny nip in the tail in making his highest score of the season (4 not out) and stupidly running out Mike Webster with two balls of the innings left.
Barnes were 104 - 9 at the close, and disappointed with themselves, having added a fantastic 19 - 6 in the last eight overs.
After a few more beers there was a ten over game as well.
Again Barnes started well, this time Seed (1-3) removing Williams with the first ball of the game. Hogg’s (0-4) was tight, Pettitt’s (0-10) wayward, Haddow’s (0-4) slow and Saperia’s (2-7) devastating, with Kelsey out “lbw” for 15 and Handley caught at mid wicket by Price.
The sixth over was Lilliman’s (0-4) again he was hard to get away and following a slash though long off for four from Jim Hogg, taking the total to 33, there came a crucial run out.
A “yes-no-yes-shit” mainly conducted about ten yards from each crease became the farcical moment that ultimately cost Barnes the match. Fergus Park had just come in, when he was totally stranded by Jim Hogg’s poor call, the batsman had NOT crossed, but Hogg took it upon himself to walk off as a sacrifice.
Oliver Hogg was not best pleased by that turn of events, requesting that the square leg umpire send back the correct player, but Park stayed in to score 29 from his next twelve deliveries.
Dakin accompanied him and with Mundy, Lichfield, Price and Krevs all going for at least 12 an over - Cabris finished on 88 - 4.
And as before, Barnes threw it away against a dobber from a position of very great strength indeed.
Requiring almost nine an over to win, Barnes had reached 65 - 3 at the end of the seventh over.
Twenty-four to win and three overs left, the rate reduced to eight, and Jim Hogg to bowl his second nominated over. Thus departed Matt Krevs caught on the square leg boundary by Kelsey and then Pettitt was caught at the wicket - Barnes were 70 - 5, with the big guns gone and two overs to go.
Webster cracked on, Mundy ran himself out and Barnes lost by seven runs.
Surely the pear would go apple-shaped one day.
Ah the club dinner and at the splendid restaurant twelve Barnes Occasionals sat down (including the chairman’s wife) and were entertained by Graham Kelsey, Jims Longley and Hogg and the Cabris chairman Ivar O’Brien and his wife Patricia.
Much wine was drunk and the captain gave the traditional speech thanking Ivar for the invite and requesting one for next year. It was also mentioned that following the loss of a forgetful old duffers pencil case (he found it where he left it, in the chairman’s car) the trophy game should be held over to Sunday so that the results could be truly ratified with a complete new set of writing implements.
It was also suggested that Graham Kelsey might one day be gracious or sporting enough to accept an umpiring decision.
Kelsey responded for Cabris remarking that he had graciously accepted Ian Haddow’s decision, when Nigel Saperia was given out “lbw” off his bowling in the twenty over game despite the ball having struck Nigel’s bat.
No player of the match T-shirt was awarded, so Barnes retired to the Sporting bar across the road to drink enormous quantities and work on their technique.
Sunday dawned, a much nicer looking day, with low puffy cloud that would, to an experienced English eye, probably burn off by around one in the afternoon to reveal a deep blue sky and the wonderful mountain surround of St. Vallier-de-Thiey’s cricket ground.
On arrival at the ground Cabris were late, AGAIN. A certain amount of rounding up took place with Graham Kelsey arriving late having collected a home team cricketer from the nearest train station.
Bomber Lancaster was first on the scene, and youngsters Craig Taylor and Rory Bardon also came early. Ken Feilder drew up in his van. Phil Bamford (another Aussie) came in his and when Roshin Perrera arrived with Graham Kelsey Cabris had the bare bones of a team.
Jim Longley (skipper again) arrived to discuss the toss with the talismanic Bob Lilliman, and as the first overs were bowled Jim Hogg drew up - having been plucked from a couple of friendly sets of tennis.
Cabris were complete at nine. And by ‘ec they’d pay for it this time.
Lancaster and Taylor opened the batting for Cabris, against the combined might of Oliver Hogg and Matt Krevs. How stiff those limbs seemed. As Hogg struggled for his rhythm, Bomber briefly struggled with his line. The third ball nipped in late and had Lancaster very cramped for room as he nicked the ball into his pads and down to the mat for safety. Two balls later a long half volley and Lancaster was on his way to a powerful and swift 54 from 61 balls. At the other end things weren’t going quite so well.
Taylor found it hard to get the ball off the square and in the fifth over he at last nicked one behind where Webster easily held on to the catch and Hogg was celebrating his 49th wicket of the season.
Three overs later Barnes were cock-a-hoop as Krevs spun one right across the batsman and Webster held up another catch, this time Graham Kelsey gone for three - Cabris were 16 for two. Lancaster had struggled against Krevs’ leg spin in the previous over and after playing out a maiden from the young Australian, his partner Kelsey shouted: “he’s bowling leg spin Bomber.”
As Kelsey stormed back to the boundary, shaking his head angrily, Bomber shouted in his gruff northern tones: “he’s bowling leg spin Graham.”
At number four came Ken Feilder, he of the nice mongrel and stories of the excellent French health service. Feilder scratched around while Lancaster found his form. Krevs first four overs and prize wicket had cost Barnes five runs and this induced Lilliman to turn to Jim Mundy for more spinny stuff.
This was more to Lancaster’s liking and after three well flighted balls from Mundy, Lancaster had his second four - a huge pull though mid-wicket off a full toss. That signalled the real start of his rampage as he plundered 41 from the next 27 balls.
Oliver Hogg’s figures began to suffer as Lancaster took 16 runs from his last three overs. But finally in his last over of the season Hogg had Feilder on strike. He ran up… and bowled a huge wide off the mat on the offside practically to first slip. He was certainly stiff, the first ball of the over had been wide as well, though that one had gone down the leg-side. So the seventh and penultimate ball was the one that brought home his bacon, pitched up and well outside off stump Feilder chanced his arm at last, he got hold of it and was cleanly caught at mid off by Nigel Pettitt. Oliver Hogg became the first Barnes Occasional to take fifty wickets in one season, and more importantly finished his spell of eight overs with 2-31. Cabris were 46 - 3.
Now came Roshin Perrera, holder of the record for most runs in a Barnes Occasional’s over.
With Mike Webster behind the stumps Perrera would only have one bowler off whom he could do similar damage. So on Perrera’s arrival in the fifteenth over, Lilliman turned to the only Barnes bowler in the three hundred club, Keith Seed.
Then in the twentieth over Mundy removed Lancaster with a straight ball – Cabris were 74 for four and Lilliman had to rethink. Seed who had bowled two overs for twelve was pulled out of the attack and replaced by the skipper. The match was at a critical stage. Nothing could go wrong from here.
Rory Bardon had come to the crease, this was Barnes big chance. Keep the lad in, might backfire, you never know, give it a go.
Mundy finished his spell - 1-29 from eight, seven overs of Bob Lilliman came and went for 24. Haddow replaced Mundy bowling 4 overs for 21. Saperia replaced the “weapon,” and Krevs bowled out at the House end, his was the most expensive over of the innings. Perrera, finally at ease before the bowler, in Krevs first over back, smote thirteen. But Bardon was still there on ten not out holding up his end while Perrera did his best to keep Cabris in the game. Perrera’s fifty came from 52 balls, but how he had struggled against the slow bowlers this time. Each time he threw the bat at Haddow he let out an exasperated wail that he hadn’t hit the ball off the square. Not enough bounce, nothing too short, no medium pace half volleys.
Beyond the boundary Cabris were barracking their men. Bardon began to cry and in the fortieth over – which time he must have felt he was carrying the team on his back – his long vigil was finally ended. Perrera (64) had goaded him (not unkindly) to run and run for singles when twos would have been as easy. He’d beseeched his younger partner to hit the ball harder – in the hope that he might play the ball more firmly into a fielder’s hands. Bardon just wanted to defend and get off strike. He too wanted the ball coming on. But just like his more experienced colleague he was powerless against the lifeless bowling. Then suddenly there was pace from Saperia, bowling a good tight line, well up to the batsmen giving them little chance to play shots. Saperia’s four overs cost five runs only, and in his last – the fortieth – he finally got his man.
For the last over of the innings, Perrera wanted to play big shots. Cabris were 146 for 4 and well below par. At last the barracking had got to him, he’d run a single off the second ball, then he called Bardon through for a single that just wasn’t there. Bardon came on, he had to, he knew that Perrera had to survive.
Pettitt and Saperia combined to run the lad out by several feet, and off he went. He had made ten from 74 balls, he had helped Perrera add 73 for the fifth wicket and he had received not a semblance of thanks from the audience.
The poor lad was inconsolable as he left the middle, he had batted more than twenty overs only to be run out at the last, at the behest of his team mates who responded at his calamitous demise with a cheering gasp of relief. His little red face and the torrents of tears were all too visible beneath his helmet.
BASTARDS. Sadly Barnes will probably pay, in about four years time, when the experience of a twenty over match conditions net, finally reaps its rewards against another ill prepared touring team.
Now Saperia had Longley on strike. One ball left of the innings, the big Australian could at last show the side what they had been missing while Bardon was in.
Saperia bowled him and Cabris finished their forty overs on 150 – 6.
Not enough, surely, even the famous “collapsibles” couldn’t lose from here.
And so it was lunch. The Barnes talk was of how guilty Cabris would feel about their treatment of the young man. Would they give Bardon a bowl? Would Pettitt be batting at the time?
Would the professional live up to expectations? Could he surpass Adam Hogg’s batting record?
Then they were off, Keith Seed curiously leading Roger Price into battle, quickly opening up and driving fours through mid-wicket, then extra cover for one of the shots of the day. Price pinched himself, then began slowly at first against the tight bowling of Perrera. Price survived one or two “lbw” shouts, but he was on his way. The professional’s first boundary came off Jim Longley backward of point. Two overs later he smashed the Australian over mid-wicket for six to go to seventeen not out (665 for the season, nineteen short of the club record).
Longley took himself out of the attack, and brought on Phil Bamford another Australian, much taller, but not as athletic as he had been two years previously. Nevertheless it was Bamford who accounted for Seed, a straight one pinned the Yorkshireman in front of his stumps. He was gone for twelve, he had retreated back into his shell after those two glorious fours and at 33 Barnes probably needed new blood at the wicket.
The new didn’t last long however, Price took it upon himself to commit that cardinal sin of stealing a run to Graham Kelsey. Kelsey, behind the sticks, at that stage had let the ball spill from his grasp out behind square, where no fielder was patrolling, he ran to retrieve. Price called Saperia through, then wavered, sent him back, called him through and then returned to his ground.
Saperia was gone for six, a beautifully confident straight four off Bamford and then an easy two runs backward of point. He looked as though he could have stayed there all day.
Eleven overs gone, Barnes were 41 for two, ahead of the run rate, with power to add and Matt Krevs striding to the crease.
But you’ve still got to get them.
Perrera was rested, he had bowled his first six overs for ten runs, and the sight of young Craig Taylor replacing him gladdened the hearts of the assembled watchers.
Krevs began slowly as is his wont, and Price gathered himself again after the disaster that he had brought about. They worked the ball around taking singles here and there, Price using mid-off and mid-wicket and Krevs through point and extra cover. The field began to go retreat.
Cabris sensed their mounting problems. Five overs before Bardon replaced Taylor Cabris were up against it, Price had found top gear and Krevs was playing a fine supporting role.
At 39 not out, Price took Adam Hogg’s club record, with a four behind square off Bardon. At 52 (from 72 balls) the professional had 700 for the season, with a four through cover point off Bamford.
Krevs had clammed up now, he was taking easy singles and giving Price the strike. They put on sixty in 43 minutes, either side of the drinks break. After drinks Kelsey came on to bowl, taking the pace right off the ball and at last, he had Krevs (23) out caught. At 101 for 3 there were sixteen overs to go and Price was on 53. Lilliman was not prepared to gamble with Nigel Pettitt’s middle stump against Roshin Perrera. Jim Mundy went to the crease.
At last Mundy blossomed – so few times had he batted this season, it’s a wonder he could recall his method. But now, his horrid hangover banished by cold pizza, bananas, beer and Patricia O’Brien’s delicious lunch, he began to push the ball around.
At the scoreboard a familiar face bent his head over the scorebook to suggest that Barnes couldn’t fail from here. Phil Martin, the French (? Welsh) International was walking around the ground with his Zimbabwean cousin and various wives and children. Jim Hogg shouted for Martin to join the match – Oliver Hogg was extremely relieved that he didn’t take up the offer.
Four through wide long on, then four more, another six off Longley over mid-wicket and Barnes were almost there. Price now had 71. In the following over Mundy (17) hit the only boundary off Perrera, backward of point and Cabris head’s were well and truly down.
A “will they, won’t they,” moment from a mis-field and Barnes delayed the opportunity of the win for the next over. Price (78) hit the winning single into mid-wicket and the match was won.
Cabris were charming in defeat, all of them except Graham Kelsey who exclaimed that “lbw’s” must be given. Like that one on Saturday that hit the bat.
Ivar O’Brien awarded the trophy to Bob Lilliman on behalf of the Barnes Occasionals, and the talisman had done it again. Now for the champagne, though this time Keith Seed didn’t buy it. For he was long gone with his chauffeur Graham Kelsey. What must that conversation have been like?
The competitive bore with the sneering economist.
Following the traditional drinks in Cabris, Barnes’ remaining ten made there way again to La Lanterne, the usual restaurant. The chairman had picked up a handful of conkers, he had a jolly wheeze up his sleeve.
Bon viveur and all-round foody Ian Haddow sat boasting of his gourmandising opposite the unfortunate Nigel Saperia. Nigel Pettitt a partner in crime on another occasion in that same restaurant was to the weapons’ right. The Champagne had been drunk, the starters were all but finished and the proprietor was standing in the isle, he motioned to the chairman: “This man?”
At the affirmative, our host put down a plain platter of conkers for the great gourmet, and told him: “Pour vous, Monsieur, un Provencale specialite de la maison.”
“Uurr thankyo-merci” replied the weapon. As if to break the spell, Nigel Pettitt exclaimed something about conkers, but Haddow was undeterred: “Naaoo ‘orse chesnuts.” (and no mistake.) Krevs smothered a laugh amongst his escargots.
Then in time honoured weaponry fashion the great man picked one up and placed it between his cracker-like jaws. “There not roasted like at ‘ome” said he. On he went into the valley of the five hundred, taking half a mouthful of conker, chewing and swallowing.
The chairman could take it no longer: “Ian, mate, you’ve bin had, they’re conkers.”
There were whoops of mirth from all at the table. It was a priceless, excellent moment almost as good as the final moment of victory.
Though as the “talisman” explained later on, that final winning moment on the Salisbury tour, all those years ago, was somehow much sweeter.